Unlocking Intimacy: Essential Sex Tips for Men About Women

Understanding the intricacies of female sexuality can be a complex yet rewarding journey. As men, it's crucial to recognize that women crave more than just physical satisfaction; they seek emotional connection, romance, and a sense of safety and understanding in the bedroom. Here are five essential sex tips for men about women that can enhance intimacy and pleasure for both partners.

Women Need Romance and Emotional Engagement:

I get it. It's a tired old piece of advice. But here's the thing. It's true for most women. I hear it nearly every day from clients. The fact is women often require more than just physical stimulation to feel aroused. Just like men, they want to feel desired and valued for who they are. Building emotional intimacy through romance, affectionate gestures, and meaningful communication lets her know that you're thinking about her and that she matters to you even when she isn't right in front of you. It sets the stage for a deeper connection during sex. Take the time to understand her emotional needs and express your love and desire for her beyond the bedroom. Simple acts of kindness, such as surprising her with thoughtful gestures or engaging in heartfelt conversations, can significantly enhance her desire and satisfaction. Be consistent about it. Think of it as something other than a transaction. Getting her flowers on the way home from work on Thursday does not mean that Thursday night you get sex. Regularly getting her flowers, leaving love notes on the mirror, and sending "I love you" messages during the day are like keeping the oil in the car changed, the lawn mowed, and the air filters changed. It's just good maintenance. Sometimes, those things also require you to set little reminders for yourself. 

Let Her Feel Your Desire for Her Specifically:

As I mentioned, women crave feeling desired and cherished by their partners. Make it known that you find her irresistible, both physically and emotionally. Compliment her, express your admiration for her unique qualities, and show genuine interest in her thoughts and desires. By making her feel desired and special, you create a powerful dynamic that fuels passion and arousal.

It's ok to ask for sex, but how you do that makes a difference. "Hey, you wanna go do it?" isn't going to get you very far in most cases. In her mind, she will probably think, "Hmm..nah, I'm good." In those situations, it may come across that you want sex, but it doesn't matter much where it comes from, and that's the last thing you want, right? You'll probably have better luck if she feels loved all week, and then you walk up to her, look into her eyes, and tell her you've been thinking about her all day, how beautiful she looks, and you want to make love to her. 

It Takes Women Longer to Warm Up to the Idea of Sex and Achieve Orgasm:

As you probably know, men tend to be able to get ready relatively quickly. That becomes less true as men age, but compared to women in most cases, it's still lightning quick for men to reach that peak arousal stage. Women tend to take significantly more time to reach that stage, both physically and mentally. Be patient and attentive to her cues, allowing her to relax and fully embrace the experience. It may also be helpful to eliminate hurdles to getting there mentally. If she seems constantly worried about having things done and ready for tomorrow, consider taking it upon yourself to get some things off her plate. There's a good chance she'll appreciate that whether sex is on the agenda or not. On average, it takes women about 20 minutes for women to get to a point where they can mentally engage in sex. After that, it can be another 20 minutes of stimulation for her to climax. Recognize that achieving orgasm may take time and may not always be the end goal. Focus on mutual pleasure and connection rather than solely on reaching climax. It should be about the journey, not the destination.

Wait Until She is Warmed Up Before Introducing New Moves or Fantasies:

Introducing new moves or fantasies can be exciting, but timing is critical. Wait until she is fully warmed up and immersed in the moment before suggesting anything new. Rushing into unfamiliar territory too soon may disrupt her arousal or make her feel pressured, and pressure is the enemy for women as well as men. Pay attention to her responses and proceed at a comfortable pace for both of you. Sharing your fantasies and desires while both of your defenses are lower can be exciting for both of you. Still, it is also essential to know where both of your important boundaries are. If you suggest things beyond her moral or physical boundaries, it will likely end badly, but exploring things as "fantasy only" can make it safer and make her feel known and seen. 

Make it Safe for Her to Communicate Her Desires:

Effective communication is essential for a fulfilling sexual experience. Create a safe and non-judgmental environment where she feels comfortable expressing her desires, boundaries, and preferences. Encourage open dialogue and actively listen to her needs in the moment. Respect her autonomy and prioritize mutual pleasure and satisfaction.

In conclusion, understanding and respecting the intricacies of female sexuality is paramount for cultivating a fulfilling and intimate relationship. By prioritizing emotional engagement, patience, and open communication, men can create a deeply satisfying sexual connection that transcends physical pleasure. Embrace the journey of discovery and exploration with your partner, and let these sex tips serve as a roadmap to unlocking greater intimacy and pleasure together.

Recently, I posted another blog article, Sex Tips for Women about Men.

Hi, I'm Josh Marlar, LMFT. Over the years, I've helped couples through a wide range of difficulties, and one of the more common things I see is a fade in sexual enjoyment and frequency over time. There are many possible reasons for this, and a skilled couples therapist can help re-engage and re-ignite the passion and the romance in a relationship that has gotten stale or worse. If you're ready to make a change, I'm ready to help.